Feed them rice... drink them water.. watch them explode...
So... today at school was alright, I felt down all day, I know why i guess... but it kinda stupid and pointless and i don't want to tell anyone so i just kept saying "I don't know", not many people asked though, so whatever. But when i got home, first thing i get... my dad calls... "why did you take your truck?" "because... i dunno felt like it, forgot i didn't need to"him-"You drove your friend"
me-"no i didn't i just said i felt like it"
him-"I TOLD YOU YOUR ACTING JUST LIKE STEVEN, you know what? how would you like me to take your truck's keys just because i felt like it?"
me-"well... I'm not steven, so stop calling me steven... and I'll ask before taking my truck again... but i have to use it the next 2 days, and you agreed to it"
him-"no i didn't i said if he gives you money you can drive him"
me-"I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOING TO GIVE ME MONEY"
him-"then how come theres no gas in your tank?!"
me-"cause i haven't driven him yet! he's giving it to me when i pick him up"
him-"he hasn't given you the money!"
me-"oh my god! i jsut said he's giving it to me when i pick him up!"
him-"would you want me to take away your truck keys just because i wanted to?"
me-"what?!"
him-"one more thing and i'm taking it away"
me-"fine"
him-"bye"
me-"*click*
Treating me like i'm my brother, when i'm absolutely nothing like him. They push and force to try and become what they want me to be, but what they can't see, is if they keep pushing me like this i'll end up just like my brother and i'll be fucked for life! I don't want to be pushed and forced into something they want me to be, i want to be what i am, myself. They pushed my brother and sister untill they snapped... trying to mold and push them into what they want them to be, they broke... If they keep forcing me... I'm going to break and where will I be?
ok ok example:
i slept 2 hours at the MAX last night cause i was sick, i like couldnt breathe, and my ear hurt so bad, i was almost crying... and if you know me... it takes alot of pain to make me cry. But my parents just said "Take some vitamin C"... and they made me go to school... which i'm better i guess but my throat is a bit sore and i can't hear out of one ear. My mom gets home... we sit around for a while (no communication) and the birds again were screaming... and i picked up the spray bottle (note, i didn't spray them) and she yells at me "DONT SPRAY HER, SHE'S NOT FEELING WELL" Right there and then i wanted to go away.
Sometimes... I feel like i just want it all to end... for it all to go away. But thats not happening. Thats where the majority of my anger comes from. But thats ok... I'll just keep most of it in for now... only 1 3/4 more years...
NOTE: This is the most open i will probably ever be... Unless I'm extremely happy.. Then I will explain it with such words yee cannot help but have a colourful blossom of expression and emotion will fill your mind and fill you to the brink with that "aww" feeling that you will giggle with glee! hahah thats a funny word... two of them... giggle... and glee.....
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