Me and My Pink Shoe
You know... i was actually kinda happy today. But Brady keeps telling me I'm being EMO, so I'm not gonna put why in here. Damn you Brady... The title of the book of everything i hate is "Me and My Pink Shoe... and Every thing WE hate" And it'll have my Poem in it, for english.
I once found a Shoe
But it was nothing new!
So i threw it away
Right into the Fray!
Then I noticed i was missing one too!
It's horrible, It's somewhat funny. I guess you have to hear me read it. But yes... tHis is short.. Becasue apparently i'm being emo.
Hey guess what!... No seriously... guess...
You ever notice when you say "Guess what?" People don't guess? They say "what?" Your supposed to guess what what is... Not say what.
Now that's established. I have no idea what to put in here... My thanksgiving.. Really stressed me out. I woke up at 6... and started cooking... didn't get done untill 7 pm. My sister brought her kids over... and she didnt watch them.. So i had to. My mom was at work and my dad's crippled so i had to help him a bit. Also... the Miniature Dachsen has to go out like every half hour or so. So i had to do that. The kids wouldn't listen and so much was going on, i was getting stressed out. Everything seemed stuffy. I had to step outside because i started to shake. So... The day after Thanksgiving... (Friday) my sister and her husbands car broke down.. so i drove them around from 11 till 7 at night, doing all this crap so they could get a new car. NExt morning... i havee to take them back up to the dealership and drive them around, to get the car, insurance etc etc. That lasted from 9 am to 5 or 6 pm.
now... i'm home and my parents keep bugging me every 5 minutes. Literally. Complaining... making me do stuff. Someone called me 3 times i think. But the ID said "Tracfone" and my daddidnt take a name... so i have no clue who it is... whoever it is... leave a note in here... I wanna know... and I seriously need to go out... i dont like being home.
Odd... 3... 5. 7. 9... 12? oops wrong number...
So i've been feeling kind of odd lately. Kinda down. I didn't really know why, but i realized. It's really stupid and sorda an oxy moron of my life. I feel as if i don't fit in with my friends. I don't belong there. Not wanted... whatever. But all my life, i loved, i relished in being different, knowing that i could be something that everyone else couldnt... Me. I feel as if my friends don't really want me there, they only do because they feel bad. Who knows. I know its not true, and they'll all tell me otherwise... But i can't help but feel that way. Whats so different now that i'm second guessing my uniqueness?
Congratulations!! You're Below Average.
So, Today.. not much happened... I haven't updated in a few days... Not much has happened. My father parental figure had knee surgery. I got Grounded, But i'm on the computer. I went to school... Bekah has been out too... but she got her wisdom teeth out, her cheeks are puffed up. She found some tin-foil in my back pack... and decided it would be fun to decorate me along with kellys help. So she intwined in into my laces, and they wraped it around my shoe. Congratualtions Matt, you have a tinfoil boot. And a hat. kelly took my hat and wrapped it in tin foil. I walked around the whole day wearing a tin foil boot and hat. After i made a new one becuase the old one made my hat all messed up. People kept commenting; "trying to keep the aliens out?" "hey is that the hat from signs?!" no... infact it wasn't. But...Nothing much more happened. Still working on getting a hug from bekah. She keeps refusing. I'm pretty sure i know why. Mayhaps I'll stop.
You know... Gah.
Does anyone actually read this? I don't think iput much happy stuff in here. I don't think anyone does read this anymore. So i might just stop. IF you do read this then let me know and i guess i'll keep putting stuff in here.
Lately, it just feels like i haven't had much to be happy about. But i guess i don't have a reason to be sad... Or do I? It just seems i have more to be sad over than to be happy. Why is that? I have no idea. I guess I'm generally happy. But probably not as much as i should be.
=/ I need a boost or something.
Thinking of something that is 6 letters long...
Saturday... It was interesting. Kelly had her birthday party. We all met up at Old Country Buffet... It twas , Sarah, Kelly, Rob, Rachel F, Rachel K., Rachel List.... Becca (the freshman thats afraid of squirrels), that old guy Tad, and that old chick Mary-beth, uhhh....Kellys mom, and chris. So we're all there... Everyone is talking, People start calling me god. Rachel, chris and myself are kinda off in our own little world it seemed, but it was fun, Got to talk to Rachel and chris. Chris didn't say much but what he did say was funny. We talked for a while... UNtill Kelly started opening her presents... I entertained myself by dumping salt on the table... which rachel ended up throwing over her shoulder. Superstitious. I threw a little over myshoulder... but there was a lady directly behind me so i ended up dumping it on my shoulder... smart. As the night proceeded we left OCB... rachel had to go home, which was dissapointing, because she was entertaining me. But we all went to kellys grandparents. I forgot where i was going, so i got there about 5 seconds after everyone else. We sat outside for a bit, and played catch phrase. Then we went inside... and we had cake sat around and talked... told stupid stories. Something about a cammando grandma with an AK-47. Also Rob ended up being a stripper for charity, and people jsut bought him and put him in a room with a dog. We went outside again and played catch phrase... kelly was describing; Kelly-"ok ok ok! I'm a-?" me-"WHO--"...it was funny. So i went home... and thats about it. Untill next time my faithful followers.
Feed them rice... drink them water.. watch them explode...
So... today at school was alright, I felt down all day, I know why i guess... but it kinda stupid and pointless and i don't want to tell anyone so i just kept saying "I don't know", not many people asked though, so whatever. But when i got home, first thing i get... my dad calls... "why did you take your truck?" "because... i dunno felt like it, forgot i didn't need to"
him-"You drove your friend"
me-"no i didn't i just said i felt like it"
him-"I TOLD YOU YOUR ACTING JUST LIKE STEVEN, you know what? how would you like me to take your truck's keys just because i felt like it?"
me-"well... I'm not steven, so stop calling me steven... and I'll ask before taking my truck again... but i have to use it the next 2 days, and you agreed to it"
him-"no i didn't i said if he gives you money you can drive him"
me-"I TOLD YOU HE WAS GOING TO GIVE ME MONEY"
him-"then how come theres no gas in your tank?!"
me-"cause i haven't driven him yet! he's giving it to me when i pick him up"
him-"he hasn't given you the money!"
me-"oh my god! i jsut said he's giving it to me when i pick him up!"
him-"would you want me to take away your truck keys just because i wanted to?"
me-"what?!"
him-"one more thing and i'm taking it away"
me-"fine"
him-"bye"
me-"*click*
Treating me like i'm my brother, when i'm absolutely nothing like him. They push and force to try and become what they want me to be, but what they can't see, is if they keep pushing me like this i'll end up just like my brother and i'll be fucked for life! I don't want to be pushed and forced into something they want me to be, i want to be what i am, myself. They pushed my brother and sister untill they snapped... trying to mold and push them into what they want them to be, they broke... If they keep forcing me... I'm going to break and where will I be?
ok ok example:
i slept 2 hours at the MAX last night cause i was sick, i like couldnt breathe, and my ear hurt so bad, i was almost crying... and if you know me... it takes alot of pain to make me cry. But my parents just said "Take some vitamin C"... and they made me go to school... which i'm better i guess but my throat is a bit sore and i can't hear out of one ear. My mom gets home... we sit around for a while (no communication) and the birds again were screaming... and i picked up the spray bottle (note, i didn't spray them) and she yells at me "DONT SPRAY HER, SHE'S NOT FEELING WELL" Right there and then i wanted to go away.
Sometimes... I feel like i just want it all to end... for it all to go away. But thats not happening. Thats where the majority of my anger comes from. But thats ok... I'll just keep most of it in for now... only 1 3/4 more years...
NOTE: This is the most open i will probably ever be... Unless I'm extremely happy.. Then I will explain it with such words yee cannot help but have a colourful blossom of expression and emotion will fill your mind and fill you to the brink with that "aww" feeling that you will giggle with glee! hahah thats a funny word... two of them... giggle... and glee.....
